I forgot to mention that my birthday recently passed. I am 31 years old. Love it.
Anyway, I spent my birthday weekend holed up in a hotel, all on my own, being seen by the world at large only for the sake of food or making cameos in various corners of my circle.
I was supposed to be spending a large amount of that time fucking (or trying to) but the plans I’d laid out tentatively fell through, as I knew they would.
I also forgot to mention a real irony that ended up working out in my favor. My last-ditch effort at a plan to see James around my birthday involved being there late Monday and heading out early Thursday – giving James, Webb, and I a chance to work on our business plan on Tuesday and Wednesday, their days off. We’re getting more ‘official’ and I think the focus will help, especially if there are others like Webb who fall into the system. I hated the idea of being around James but I was willing to, for this reason alone.
As my classes for last session drew toward closing, we found out that our final project would be…you guessed it, a business plan!
I sat my first night working on it, trying to lay out what has become a very interwoven and consuming business, and James gave me just the right opening. In reference to sorting out the plan into coherent form, he said ‘you can to it!’ To which my mind automatically flips to Waterboy and I say I can do it all nightttttttttttttttttttttt. He said he knew. I laughed and replied I’d forgotten how and would probably hurt myself it’s been so long. Then he laughed.
A moment later:
Chastity sucks. At least it has a couple of good benefits. More energy diverted into the business and school and I can say I’m savin it for marriage!!
Good plan.
Like that’ll happen.
If you want it to, make it happen.
I’m through workin to get married. Hope so but the ball’s stuck in the concrete on your side of the court and I ain’t diggin. And I’ll be through holdin out as soon as the right opportunity presents itself. If that ever happens.
He says cool but I’m thinking maybe he felt a stronger sting than I could have hoped for.
He called me (an oddity since the fallout) a few days ago and, to start, I wondered what he could possibly be up to when he asked me why I deal with him. Seems his new playtoy turned out to be more trouble than she was worth and he called to apologize for even putting me through it and to tell me he was through with her. I was even more amused by the fact that my wish that he feel a stab through the heart when he stuck his dick where it didn’t belong also came true because he kept going soft and wasted a bunch of rubbers. -smirk-
As if that weren’t enough, 12 hours to the nose after I finally asked my followup questions about his apology and went back to my solitude he chimed in out of the blue.
I think I may be off July 25-28.
??
Just letting you know. I might need to get away.
Ah. So you think you wanna come down here?
He said yes, if he was welcomed. I almost gave him an noncommittal ‘I suppose’ that would normally be taken as a joke but thought better of it. Then I wondered at the fact that my real reaction was exactly that. I know there’s still something lurking, somewhere, within the both of us though so I did the two things I could.
Say ‘of course’ and look up ticket prices, to find something cheaper than what he mentioned. Find, I did. And I just finished relaying it to him. Assuming his ‘might’ is a ‘will be but I’m going to feel her out,’ he may well be purchasing tickets Friday.
Now I just have to decide if I’m going to stick to my guns and keep this visit, should it come to pass, strictly PG.
Tags: Aging, Hibernation, James, State of the Union