The tears…They tease me so.
I’m back home – deeper into hibernation than I was before I left (or came back) – and today is somewhere between two dates – the one where James and I met (early November-ish, 3 years ago now) and the last time we saw each other.
The me from a year’s past was spending time with his family and friends she loved before they even met and, in a couple of days, would be readying herself for the end of her vacation and the dreaded drive home, secure in her love for him and ready to return to his battlegrounds. The me of today is faced with a love still as strong as it was back then and nowhere to put it, wishing she didn’t have to deny herself the fleeting pleasure of another trip to be in his arms to serve up a reminder of just how much she is to him. This year’s me has barely left her room, is struggling to catch up on class work, wanting to work on her business instead, and wishing for two simple things: for the tears she’s held back so long to spill forth and the safety to let them fall.
Funny how a year can seem like it was just yesterday but, at the same time, feel like an eternity among the damned.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and here’s a special shot to those of you who are spending it like her: alone in a house of 10+ people.