I finally did it – I had what I believe will be the closest thing I think I’ll get to a meltdown for James.
Posts Tagged ‘James’
Apr
04
2012
The Daze
I’ve just managed to come up with a name (because I’m horny and was going to complain because I hadn’t thought of a name to use in the rest of my story) for my new friend. As luck would have it the answer just…’drifted’ into my mind when I opened up for it.
That said, he shall be Andre. My time there was surprisingly…blissful. And a lot of the stuff that has happened as a result really shouldn’t surprise me…but…
Dec
25
2011
Resurrecting the Past
Listening to an old school R&B joint and I decided, since it mentions a trip down memory lane thanks to some old photographs, I’ll touch on each real quick.
Some of you have been with me since the beginnings of my journey about 8 years ago and you can now find many pieces of that journey here. I’ve finally managed to go through and resurrect the old writings and ramblings I felt worthy of being brought back. I’m still in the process of making my second pass to add ‘current’ names, tags, etc but at least part one is out of the way. Should you care to dig that far back, you can catch up on the cast of characters, take peeks into my head, learn what makes me tick, and read about some pretty sexy experiences I’ve had.
Before I get around to continuing the organization of all these cryptic messages, I’m going to share some pictures that have been sitting on my phone collecting dust. Just days before we were due to cut yet another tie (almost two months ago now, wow), James and I ended up exchanging some pictures. And I lucked out in getting a couple from Anthony.
Merry Xxxmas!
Nov
24
2011
The Tears…
The tears…They tease me so.
I’m back home – deeper into hibernation than I was before I left (or came back) – and today is somewhere between two dates – the one where James and I met (early November-ish, 3 years ago now) and the last time we saw each other.
The me from a year’s past was spending time with his family and friends she loved before they even met and, in a couple of days, would be readying herself for the end of her vacation and the dreaded drive home, secure in her love for him and ready to return to his battlegrounds. The me of today is faced with a love still as strong as it was back then and nowhere to put it, wishing she didn’t have to deny herself the fleeting pleasure of another trip to be in his arms to serve up a reminder of just how much she is to him. This year’s me has barely left her room, is struggling to catch up on class work, wanting to work on her business instead, and wishing for two simple things: for the tears she’s held back so long to spill forth and the safety to let them fall.
Funny how a year can seem like it was just yesterday but, at the same time, feel like an eternity among the damned.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and here’s a special shot to those of you who are spending it like her: alone in a house of 10+ people.
Nov
11
2011
Enter Crazy Ol Cat Lady
Life…is life. I’ve been joking more and more about becoming a crazy ol’ cat lady (sans cats, because I really don’t like them – probably snakes instead) so I figured I’d try for like the fourth or fifth time over the last three or four months to sit down and write something.
Aug
20
2011
The Mantis
I forgot to mention the most interesting part of the ‘after’ the storm…
I was asked if I’d turned into an insect.
Jul
27
2011
In the Still of the Night…
A few stolen moments, trying hard not to tap too loudly on a ‘foreign’ keyboard…
Jul
05
2011
Another Line
Still going back and forth on the possibility of a visit, the idea of him being here sat less and less well with me. Beyond not knowing his reasons, I didn’t want to be put in a place where he came down, I opened back up, and he kept pulling the same crap again and again until (if) he ends up back down here. There are too many questions swirling around in my head and even the notion of being in his arms is a confusing one. I couldn’t even really stomach the idea of intimacy with him, though I suspect that would change pretty quickly once he was here (assuming I could get over being close to him).
I solved all this, at least in part, early this morning.
Jun
26
2011
…Something
I forgot to mention that my birthday recently passed. I am 31 years old. Love it.
Anyway, I spent my birthday weekend holed up in a hotel, all on my own, being seen by the world at large only for the sake of food or making cameos in various corners of my circle.
I was supposed to be spending a large amount of that time fucking (or trying to) but the plans I’d laid out tentatively fell through, as I knew they would.