…was, unfortunately though not surprisingly, to the positive.

I should have just stayed asleep. At least then I could have finished my nap.

Now I’ve got to figure out a new escape plan.

I was supposed to be doing my ‘last minute’ stuff today. I was supposed to be on a plane tomorrow afternoon.

I’m sitting here, phone on its last legs, still no money (expected long before now – thus the plans for the trip), and no…life.

I’m still doing everything I’ve been doing since last I wrote – with the same joy, determination, etc – but it’s only skin deep. Inside I’m doing it because I know I have to – and that I have to keep smiling through it all, believing that I (we?) will land on our feet. Together or not. Or it will have all been a waste and that simply won’t do. I’ve done too damn much.

I’m still ‘planning’ as best I can, through this next few days, to go see him but now I have a new purpose…to see if this ‘break’ in me is permanent. A part of me prays it’s not while another would love the ‘closure.’

C’est la vie.

I’d really hoped James’d manage to make it more than a few months before doing his whole ‘pulling away’ thing so things are more up in the air than not right now. He might have the opportunity to visit the other coast which might, in turn, turn into a move and…who knows. Even if he doesn’t go, there’s been some damage done to the Union. I’ve been left questioning why and how, exactly, to proceed beginning in April.

I’m going to see him next week, for a few different reasons. I’m very anxious but there’s only a hit of excitement.

At the very least, we have plenty of ‘business’ to discuss. And, as I told him, I’d really like to get laid because there’s no telling when it’ll happen again.

I’m back up to my ears in reviews but those may well be the only thing coming out of here for a while. And they’re all waiting in the wings for the sake of everything else I’m working on.

But I will be back!